


An Exercise in Confiding

by Heart_Aflame



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Confessions, Episode 85 Spoilers, Family Bonding, Gen, Love Confessions, Nott and beaus friendships is sweet, Secret Crush, Team as Family, beau and nott should talk more, caleb widogast is mentioned, jester is mentioned more and gets a character tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 00:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21485014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heart_Aflame/pseuds/Heart_Aflame
Summary: Beauregard promised to share a secret with Nott later. Well, it's later, so no better time than now to get drunk and be honest.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Nott, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett, Nott & Caleb Widogast
Comments: 3
Kudos: 64





	An Exercise in Confiding

Nott waits for the barkeep to leave and grabs the drink set in front of her, turning to Beau after taking the shot and seeing her wait expectantly with her own empty shot. She leans forward, voice lowered in a whisper just in case, conspiratorially, “Alright. It’s a little embarrassing, but when I was in that prison cell -,” she inclines her head to the side, where Caleb sits at a table a few feet away with Jester, “- with Widogast over there - for the first few days I…was kind of attracted to him. I mean, he was filthy, obviously, and very - I mean, he smelled awful, awful.” she shakes her head, but she’s smiling as she continues, 

“But, I just saw him one night, sort of trying to look out the window, the moonlight was hitting his face and - he was very handsome.” she finishes, waving a hand in front of her face to emulate the light on Caleb’s own face. 

Beau nods seriously, looking thoughtful but not surprised, “You know, I kind of got that vibe before, kind of thought there might be that feeling.” she explains, body bobbing with her nods.

She nods anyway, smiling wider, excited about sharing gossip with a friend, “I had a little bit of a crush! But then I got to know him -” 

“It ended, kinda like friendzone?” Beau guesses, interrupting accidentally. 

Nott hesitates, deflates, and shakes her head, shrugging, “Well, I mean, I’m also married.” She raises a hand up as she folds her arms, head tilted as she looks at Beau, looking more serious, “_Happily _married. But I will say, I haven’t looked at another man other than my husband quite like that. He’s very exciting, and…in another world maybe.” she says, voice near wistful. 

Beaunods, understanding because she gets it, kind of, “Yeah, in another time, ‘nother place.”

Both are silent for a few seconds, staring at each other without either moving to speak again after that, before Nott leans forward again and nods at her encouragingly, “Dish the dish, bish.”

Beau sighs and leans forward, chewing her lip as she admits, “I might have a similar problem.”

“Wait - you’re into Caleb too? Gross! Gross! He’s filthy, disgusting!” Nott exclaims, bewildered with an exaggerated expression of surprise. 

She leans back immediately, disgust immediately replacing the resignation, indignant, “No! No! No, not Caleb!” she exclaims, keeping her voice a low hiss of a whisper, waving her arms at Nott like she was shooing that thought away. 

“Oh, cool.” Nott says, calm, as both of them lapse into silence again for a few seconds more before her eyes widen and her voices rises in pitch to a sharp shriek that sounds like it’s trying to be a whisper but decided it was better to be a shout instead, “Me?! Oh, it’s me!”

Beau growls, hand coming out to slap Nott’s shoulder and cover her mouth, “No! Shit! Shut up, shut -” she looks around, to see if anyone is looking or listening to their conversation after Nott’s shouting, and deflates a bit as she gets closer, voice lower as her eyes turn downward, “it’s Jester.” 

Nott’s eyes widen, ears flicking upward immediately, “Wait, what? I’m sorry - what?!” she asks, quieting into a whisper, wiggling in her seat, body lifting up and off the seat a few times in her sudden excitement. 

She crosses her arms, shrugging, trying to look nonchalant despite Nott’s own sudden intent focus on her, “It’s just kinda - I don’t know, it’s just like a - it’s nothing, just a crush. It’s - I don’t know what to do with it!” she stammers out, finally, flexing and relaxing her hands, looking anywhere but towards Jester’s table and Nott. 

“Wait, what?!” Nott repeats, body seemingly unable to control itself in it’s movement still, wiggling in place as she keeps herself from getting off the chair. She turns and grabs the bartenders attention, pointing at them, “Three more, three more rounds!” she demands, looking back at Beau.

Beau glances at the bartender quickly, “Three more each!” then looks back at her, eyes hard and points at her goblin companion, “If you fucking tell anybody -” 

“Of course I’m not gonna tell anybody, you know - look at this face!” She points at herself and smiles wide, the tattoo recently acquired glowing faintly, just briefly making Beau not notice for once how threatening her teeth are, despite how Nott tends to mean for her smile to look. 

She shakes her head, leaning on the counter with a loud huff, “You tell everybody everything!” 

“I’m cool!” Nott insists. 

“You are going to let it slip!” 

“No! Of course not!” 

Beau sighs, taking her head off the counter to stare at Nott, who was still smiling with all focus on her, looking excited at the surprising confession, “I shouldn’t have told you.” she says, arms crossed, slight regret in her voice, but really she had wanted this. Wanted to tell someone a secret and be honest, so who better than Nott considering the last conversation they had. Especially since she got a secret in return. 

Nott suddenly calms, looking serious, holding a hand up to stop Beau from saying anything, “Wait. _What_ about _her?_” she asks, bringing that same hand flat against her own chest, “For me, it’s his rugged jawline, it’s his intellect, it’s his -” 

She blinks, “Oh, you’re talking about Caleb again?” Beau asks, needing the clarification because, really, Nott could be describing Yeza for all Beau can tell by these descriptors and what she knows about them both. 

Nott nods, waving a hand around in the air as she speaks, “Yes, yes, yes. It’s his “I don’t care about the world, I don’t care how people look at me, I don’t care how I present myself”” she sighs, sounding just a bit contemplative, “I _like_ that. It’s sort of interesting and confident. What is it about _her_?” she prompts immediately after, curious and bright eyed, without a second to absorb everything else. 

Beau sighs, smiling just a little as she thinks and says, “She’s fun. She makes me laugh. I like her ridiculous plans. I think she’s complicated and layered. I dunno.” she shrugs, trying to go for noncommittal with that last word and falling a bit short.

Nott nods, “That’s cool.” she says gently, smile genuine and warm.

Beau shakes her head, letting her arms drop, “I’m not gonna like, act on it or anything.” she replies, glancing over at the table, thinking about what she’d been told yesterday about Fjord, and all the stuff that’s gone down recently with Yasha, glancing back at her side forlornly at the empty shot glasses. 

Nott is silent for a second, just looking at her with a deliberately thoughtful expression as she considers, “I wouldn’t have thought she’s your type.” she admits. 

“I don’t think she thinks that I’m her type, she’s got a thing for Fjord -” Beau starts haltingly, voice low as she thinks of excuses out of this conversation, shifting uncomfortably. 

She doesn’t need to though, because Nott seems to sense her shift and looks serious, unsure frown on her face as she leans forward, voice carefully questioning, giving her a good out for the topic direction, “You’re not _serious_ though about this, this is a _crush_, this is not a thing that you’re gonna actually pursue, _right_?”

Beau nods immediately, voice sharp and high pitched, “_Yeah! Of course! Yeah!!_”

Nott nods with her, serious look still going strong as her voice fills with contemplation, "Because I don’t know if…Wow, what if…” she starts, then stops like she just realizes something. 

“What?” 

Nott’s eye glance around, whispering quieter, and continues her thought, “But what if - she doesn’t know anything about - hey, have you noticed she doesn’t know about herself? Like, she doesn’t know who she is, she doesn’t know what she likes -”

“I’ve had that fantasy.” she admits, swaying in her seat, smiling. 

Nott keeps going, heedless of her interruption, words speeding up as she goes, “She could be lost. She could be a sea right now, and you could be the anchor that brings her home.” she wiggles her shoulders, voice shifting slightly a bit melodramatic with the analogy. 

"I could be the flame in the darkness.” Beau says quietly, head tilting upward, eyes closed, voice faintly dripping with drama. 

“What if she’s lost because she doesn’t know that you’re what she’s looking for? She thinks she likes _Fjord_ -” her mouth quirks wryly, derisive on his name, cheeky. 

Eye’s still closed, Beau huffs, then looks down again as she speaks, “I could be her beacon. Ugh, I need to stop saying these things. No, no, these aren’t any of these things. It’s just that - I’m already -” she waves her hands, trying to remove the images from her mind. 

“I didn’t even consider that as a possibility.” Nott admits, interrupting as she tilts her head in thought, looking towards Jester and Caleb still at their table instead of listen to Beau try to backtrack. 

“Well, it’s not a possibility.” Beau says, keeping the dejection out of her voice if not her body language. 

Nott crosses her arms, eyes bright and encouraging, "But maybe it is.”

“No.” Beau denies quickly. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll do some work.” Nott promises, sly smile creeping along her mouth. 

“No! No! No!” Beau started, grabbing hold of her arm, shaking her head. 

The smile turns roguish and Nott winks, “I’ll see what I can do here.” she says confidently, with a decisive little nod. 

“_Nott_ \- confiding! This was an exercise in _confiding_!” Beau growls low, reminding her what they had started this conversation for in the first place. 

Nott stops, her smile returning to a normal small one, but still with that knowing look in her eye, bringing two fingers up to her own eyes and moving them to point back at Beau. “…I see what you’re getting at.” 

"It’s very black-and-white. It’s just “don’t tell the secrets” it’s not that I’m getting at anything, it’s just - this stays between you and me, this is our girl thing, okay? Yeah?” Beau asks, waving her arms around in front of her as she speaks, shifting one to encompass both her and Nott.

Nott nods, relaxing forward slightly, “Cool. Cool. Okay. Okay.” she agrees.

“Chaos Crew?” Beau says, holding out her hand in the shape of a C. 

"_Chaos Crew_.”

Nott does the same motion, and they both link fingers, confirming their pact promise, at least as far as Beau cares as they break the link. 

Nott looks at her with new concern, worry clear in her voice, “Hey, but no matter what? We’re not letting this break up the three of us.” she says, near a question, pointing between them before pointing over at Jester. 

Beau gets the feeling Nott’s more worried that she’ll be left behind, if this shit goes anywhere at all, either good or bad for Beau’s crush. Though maybe she could be worried she might do some shit, so, she shakes her head and crosses her arms, trying to look determined, “No. Absolutely not. Chaos Crew, ride or die. It’s not gonna change anything.”

“No.” Nott repeats in agreement, looking more confident. 

“Don’t let it change anything.” Beau demands, threateningly, because she is also sorta worried about being left behind like Nott, even if it would be in a different sorta way probably. 

Notts eyes widen, though not because of what Beau said, as she tries to look innocently up at her, “It won’t. I will behave the _same_.” she says, her voice weirdly monotone and emphatic. 

“You’re already _not_!” Beau complains, throwing her hands up. 

Nott laughs, smiling wide, “_Cooool_ as a _cucumber!” _she croons with just a bit of a sly undertone, with enough emphasis of Nott's typical scheming mischievousness that Beau was instantly on alert. 

Beau huffs and downs all three shots that were left in front of her, only half to hide her own smile, and gets up from the bar once Nott finishes her own so they can both get back over to their friends. 

It was a good talk in the end, Beau doesn’t think she’ll regret it, especially since she got her own confirmation on something she’d suspected from Nott for awhile. This being truthful thing was growing on her. 

She still throws a coin at Nott though. 


End file.
